Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
