the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Let's paint friendship bongs
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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