You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I currently don't understand fingers.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
