I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
