I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
