Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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