so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
