lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
