someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
