Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
