how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
