i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
