Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
