Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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