The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize