Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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