I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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