So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
it's like heaven, but drunker
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
