I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
