Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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