i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
