i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
