just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
