i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize