Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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