Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize