i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
you're hired as official boob wrangler
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
