Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
