just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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