Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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