I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just high enough for therapy.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize