I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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