if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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