I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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