plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
