last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
