Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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