Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
