Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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