I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i wish my penis had a tongue
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
