Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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