no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
