I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
