I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
