i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
