Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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