Is it normal to miss your booty call?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
