hotel room ftw
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
