Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
