two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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