I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
