is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
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