Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
