coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
