We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
