Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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