NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
