If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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