Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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