god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
