PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
