i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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