the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
