I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
