My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Randomize
