hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize