East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
