Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
