Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just cropdusted the office
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
