so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
