I think I am morally bankrupt
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
