If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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