Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
