your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
