Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
